The Let's Party Naked
Newsletter
Here’s what’s included in this issue of the Let's Party Naked
Newsletter:
l
How to Discuss Your Fantasies
l
Pictures, security and anonymity
l
Products
l Current Lifestyles Calendar
Let's all make an extra effort this year to respect and appreciate our lives,
each other, and our planet.
Happy New Year!
Steve Anderson
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How to Discuss Your Fantasies
As I was deciding upon a topic for this months feature article, I was reminded
of a comment my friend Dan made, after reading Secrets
of Swinging. Dan
is a long time friend, and I gave him a copy to show him what I've accomplished
over the past twelve months.
I was a bit
apprehensive. It's fairly scary to have someone close to you read
your
work. I felt as if I was giving him an opportunity to read and evaluate my
mind.
After all, when we read what someone has written it is as if we're
reading what
is on their mind. Furthermore, although a friend, Dan has
historically been one
of my harshest critics.
Basically, Dan said
that he tried my advice, and that it worked out for him perfectly!
He had been seeing a lady for a few weeks and was interested in introducing
her to the
Swinging Lifestyle. Neither Dan nor his potential partner had any
experience whatsoever with Swinging. Dan said he used my examples, nearly
word for word. His partner agreed to "give it a try", by attending a Swing
Club.
I'm sure you're aware that what Dan accomplished is not
trivial. However my
book taught him how he could overcome a major fear of
rejection, and present the
lifestyle in a non threatening way. Talking to
Dan gave me the idea for this month's
feature.
Dan's comments lead
me to realize that people could benefit from my methods
in other areas of their relationship; particularly in regard to sexual fantasy.
Sexual fantasy is a natural part of the human experience.
Some of our fantasies
are unrealistic, and we know they will never be realized.
These unrealistic fantasies
include the absurd and impossible. The
other category of fantasy is what I'm
most interested in helping you with.
Here are some tips to help you discuss your
fantasies with your partner, while
reducing the fear of rejection.
1. Use
questions instead of statements. A statement , such as "I want to try a
threesome.", commits you to the concept. Instead, ask "Have you ever
thought
about trying a threesome?" (Everyone has at least thought about a
threesome.)
Then ask "What are your thoughts?" In the latter case your
merely exploring, not
committing.
2. Don't use
"yes or no" questions. If you ask a question that can be answered
with a
"yes or no", you're headed for a very short conversation; especially if
the answer
is "no". Instead ask open ended questions, which require an
explanation of thoughts
as their answer. It's no problem asking a closed
ended (answered with a "yes or no")
question as above, as long as you have
an open ended question ready as a follow-up to keep the conversation going.
3. If you fear
being judged negatively by your partner, introduce your fantasy
using the third
person. For example, "A friend of mine and his partner, just tried a
threesome. They loved it! How do you feel about that?"
Speaking in this way is
safer, because someone else's thoughts will be judged,
not your own.
4. Don't bring
up
your fantasy in terms of adopting a life long habit. Your both
just
testing the water. If either of you decides your not "into it", there's no
need to
do it again. View the activity as an experiment, merely to broaden
your horizons.
This way your partner will have a much smaller emotional risk in saying "yes".
Remember, the
key to sharing your fantasies is open communications between
the two of you.
Share your thoughts with each other in a way that encourages a
free exchange of
thoughts. Don't deprive yourself of not sharing your fantasies.
Your
partner cannot read your mind. You need to openly communicate to have
your
thoughts known. Don't end up looking back over the years, sorry you didn't
live your dreams sooner. This New Year could be the year your dreams come
true!
Steve Anderson
(Author of Secrets of Swinging http://www.letspartynaked.com,
steve_anderson@letspartynaked.com)
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Pictures, Security, and Anonymity
As I’ve mentioned, the
phrase, A picture is worth a thousand words,
is certainly true when it comes to adult personals. For good or
bad, people do judge each other by their appearance. This is not
a foolproof way of determining what someone is like. But until
you actually meet someone, it does add a degree of credibility.
There is no getting around it. Adding a picture to your ad will
increase your response ten fold.
There are three major reasons that a person doesn’t post an ad:
1. No picture handy/procrastination
2. Insecurity about ones appearance
3. Fear of discovery and misuse of ones picture
Let’s take a look at these issues one at a time.
In this day and age, not having a picture available is really no excuse.
In the old days, it was a legitimate issue, especially if you wanted
a nude or risqué picture. No one wanted the kid at the local photo
shop to see their private photos. But even then there were Polaroid.
Today you have many more options. You still have the instant cameras,
but with the advent of the Digital Camera, you can photograph anything
you want and still preserve your complete privacy.
With the on-line swingers ads, the excuse was always the unavailability
of a scanner. Today, scanners are so inexpensive that nearly anyone that
wants one can have one. Also, nearly everywhere film is developed; t
ransferring your pictures to CD Rom is very inexpensive. By the way,
Many people don’t want to post their picture out of insecurity about
their appearance. If you share this attitude you need to change it.
It just does not make sense. The fact is that most people that are
searching the ads do not look like models or movie stars themselves.
Some do of course, but they are in the minority, just like in real life.
The Swinging Population is made up of a slice of society. In other
words it’s a representative sample. You have people of all shapes,
sizes, colors, race, religion and vocation. Look at the people in a
public place. Observe people in a movie theatre, train station or
airport. The people at these places are a representative sample, not
the people you see on television, movies and in magazines. In addition,
the logic in not posting a picture with your ad because of your appearance
is flawed. Think about what you are trying to do. Meet people.
They’re going to see you then anyway!
Fear of discovery and misuse of one’s picture are legitimate concerns.
If these are major issues for you and you cannot afford to be discovered
it becomes a no-brainer. Don’t show your face! Why risk it? It makes
no sense. Still post your picture though. Simply pose in a way that
doesn’t show your face. People can still tell a lot about you even if
they can’t see your face. If you’re working with an existing picture
it’s a simple matter to block out enough of your face that no one would
recognize you.
In terms of fear of people misusing your picture, it is legitimate.
Sometimes people will pose as someone they are not, by using other
peoples pictures. Fortunately the people doing this are usually too
stupid to use a realistic picture. They’ll use some porn they picked
up that is obviously not them. It still is a real concern though.
There are on-line Swingers Personals Ads providers that address the
issue through various levels of copy protection. As I mentioned
before I personally believe the best for this is MatchesPlus at
http://www.matchesplus.com. They have
five levels of protection for
your pictures.
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Products
Sybian and Venus II
The ultimate in sexual stimulation. The Sybian is for Women.
The Venus II is for men.
Sex Toys,
even
Pyrex Dildos
It's no joke. This on-line Adult Toy Store actually has glass dildos.
They're functional and beautiful. I've ordered one for my coffee table!
They also have every other sex toy on the planet.
Wish Pearl
Jewelry
Beautiful and Affordable!
Check out their Beautiful Flag Pins!
Secrets Of Swinging
A gift for yourself. A book for both the experienced and initiated.
Secrets of Swinging will show you:
1. How to participate in Threesomes and Sex Orgies.
2. The top 10 Reasons some Couples want a Single guy to join them.
3. How to Introduce your Sexual Partner to Swinging.
4. How to tell the fakes, phonies and posers in Chat Rooms, AOL's Instant
Messages, and email.
5. How to find a sexual partner that will Get Into Swinging.
6. How to find and attend a Swing Club.
And much more......
Here's the link for the book:
Secrets Of Swinging
Matchesplus Swingers Personals Ads
Make some new swinger friends for the New
Year.
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Swinging Lifestyle Events
Every Wednesday Evening - 9:00 EST
The Dr. Robyn Show
You can listen every Wednesday evening Online! This is a very
informative and entertaining radio talk show...you really don't want to
miss it! Tune in at: http://www.thedrrobynshow.com/showindex.htm
December 31, 2001
The Black Key Club New Year's Ball
Monday, December 31, Providence, RI
The Black Key Club -- New England's most elegant private club --
invites
you to start the new year in style! Our facilities feature
dancing,
dungeon play, decadent desserts, and so much more.
Come party with New
England's hottest couples and select singles.
For more information,
please contact the club at
info@blackkeyclub.com or (401) 274-3700, or
visit our website: http://www.blackkeyclub.com
Feb 1-3, 2002
Wind and Waves: Deb & Don PO Box 3492, Renton, WA 98056;
425-226-9605;
Email: windwaves2002@aol.com;
Web: www.peoplesc.com. People Choice
presents our Annual
Wind and Waves at Ocean Shores, Washington This is the
biggest Event ever in the Pacific Northwest. Includes two dances,
two continental
breakfasts, sit down dinner and a wine and cheese
get together. For more information,
please contact Deb & Don directly.
April 10-14, 2002
Lifestyles-East, Miami Beach, FL. E-mail: info@Couples-Miami-Beach.com
Web: http://www.lifestyles-east.com The Lifestyles Organization
that has been bringing
you conventions for 28 years is going
to start a tradition on the East Coast. Our first annual
Miami Beach Couples Convention will include all the incredible
events and features that
have made The Lifestyles Convention
the world's largest and most successful of it's kind.
The adjacent
beach will be designated topless for a truly European experience.
If you have
attended one of our previous conventions you know
what to expect. If you never have, this is
your opportunity to experience
the most incredible couple's gathering imaginable. Details
can be
found at our website. Don't miss out!
April 19 - 21, 2002
Velvet Spring Gathering: Roger, Laura & Mitch PO Box 3915,
Federal Way, WA.
98063 [253] 946-5018, E-mail: info@velvetfantasyclub.com
Web: http://www.velvetfantasyclub.com The Pacific Northwest's
first spring
convention. Velvet Fantasy presents two nights of
hotel accommodations, two
evenings of dancing, a buffet dinner,
informative erotic seminars, vendors and
use of an indoor clothing
optional swimming pool. Conveniently located at a
Seattle area hotel.
May 15-19, 2002
Miami in May: A Tess & Bob production. The French Connection,
PO Box 2592,
Covington, LA 70435-2592, Phone: 504-416-7940;
Fax: 985-871-9881;
E-mail: frenchconx@aol.com;
Web: http://www.miamiinmay.com. Annual Convention,
from the same producers of the popular N'awlins in November.
Located right
on Miami Beach with access to nearby Haulover
Beach, voted the top nude
beach in America. Oceanfront rooms,
entertainment, boutiques and Hot Miami
Nights you will never forget
July 31-August 4, 2002
LIFESTYLES Convention: By LSO, Ltd. The Lifestyles Organization,
PO Box
6978, Buena Park, CA 90622-6978; 714-821-9953;
Fax: 714-821-9919;
E-mail: Convention@lifestyles.org;
Web: http://www.lifestyles-convention.com.
Annual international convention, since 1973, held every Summer.
The largest
gathering of PlayCouples in the world. Academic
and experiential presentations
on lifestyle, relationships, sexuality,
topical subjects; Adult Marketplace exhibits;
Erotic Art Exhibit;
games, theme dances; Ms. Lifestyles Swimsuit Pageant,
Evening
of Caressive Intimacy and Erotic Masquerade Banquet & Ball. Events
are sponsored by resorts, airlines and various corporations.
All couples welcome.
We return to the fabulous RENO HILTON
HOTEL which was the site of Lifestyles
1999 & 2000. This time it will
be a complete hotel takeover.
October
10-13, 2002
Entice 2001
CandleLight Associates brings you the Second Annual International
lifestyle convention - this year in Niagara Falls New York ENTICE
2001
received fantastic reviews from its attendees, receiving a 10 out of
10 for
many of their events . Email:
candleny@rochester.rr.com
Web: http://candleassociates.com
P.S. I'll see you there!
October 25-26, 2002
Bewitched on the Beach
Gail & Pee Wee PO Box 901, Wiggins, MS 39577; 601-928-7716
Email: host@bewitchedonthebeach.com
Web: http://www.bewitchedonthebeach.com
A Swinging Couples Hotel takeover!
Two days of Sun, Sea, Sand and Sex!
All of the above are FREE listings. Please
contact
us to list (or update) your
lifestyles
events of regional or national interest.
steve_anderson@letspartynaked.com
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The Lets Party Naked News Letter is compiled by Steve Anderson, the
author of Secrets of Swinging. Secrets of Swinging will show you how to Find
A Partner to Swing with, Introduce Your Partner to the Lifestyle, Where the Clubs
Are, plus how to Approach Swinging as a Single.
Steve Anderson
http://www.letspartynaked.com
1770 S. Randall Rd.
104A
Geneva, IL 60134
Toll Free: 1-866-546-2824
steve_anderson@letspartynaked.com
Please visit the newsletter’s sponsors.
http://www.letspartynaked.com - Secrets of Swinging
http://www.matchesplus.com - Swingers Personals Ads
Please feel free to submit articles to:
Steve_anderson@letspartynaked.com
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Copyright 2001 letspartynaked.com
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